Brandy went from taking 4 Xanax a day to just 1 after only a 5 day free challenge with me.
Therapy and taking 4 Xanax a day is how Brandy has managed her childhood trauma for the past 10 years. Experiencing molestation and the deaths of her younger siblings led to agoraphobia and severe anxiety in her adult life. Her fight/flight response was on 24/7 - she punched and kicked her partner in her sleep, and never felt rested.
She stumbled across my group, Reversing the Shame Spiral, Breaking the Mask, while scrolling through Facebook. The metaphor resonated strongly and she knew she had to sign up.
Day 2 of class, we discussed the energetics of choice, and it finally clicked - not only is it not her fault her brothers died, but her choices and theirs were entirely separate. Nothing she did would have made them make a different choice or created a different outcome. Guilt killed.
This opened the door for her to make some “freeing and terrifying” self discoveries. Her guilt spiral caused her to blame herself for the molestation, unconsciously manifesting in her relationships with her children - holding them too tightly and to too high a standard - and her fiance - punishing him by keeping him at a distance. Now she not only sees these patterns and tendencies in herself and works to correct them, but recognizes similar patterns in her father and is encouraging him to find help.
When we spoke, Brandy was able to tell her story clearly and matter-of-fact. Before our class she would be swallowed by her history and devolve into an incomprehensible puddle. Vicious cycles of thought that would overwhelm her she can now slow down and see the truth. She is also experiencing fewer body tremors and a decrease in the severity of her drop foot, not to mention she halved her daily Xanax use and had only felt the need for 1 the day of our conversation.
And the pièce de résistance, now for the second night in a row she cuddled and carried on a fully present, full-sentenced conversation with her fiance where before she would dissociate, leaving him with only her empty shell.
So much change in so little time. I am truly blown away.
What made the difference?
A well thrown wrench to stop the speeding carousel of guilt, and a few tools to find and hold on to solid truth.
You are amazing, Brandy, and I cannot wait to watch your progress in our 1:1 work!