Evil and Inept: Why My Compassion Does Not Extend to Your Excuses

Today I was called "evil" and "inept."


Some backstory and why this is relevant.


In the very early hours of the morning, a person who is new to my world booked a consultation with me. Then no showed.


Her excuse was because she was in pain.


(Yes, dear. That is usually why people come to me.)


When I stated the obvious - that I cannot help her if she doesn't show up - that's when the name calling started followed by an insistence that we have been in communication despite there being absolutely no record of such on ANY platform.


I share this as an example of what it looks like when you are committed to your pain.


That's right. Committed. To Pain.


Working with chronic pain, it is an unfortunate state that I see time and time again.


A client will come to me, swearing up and down that they are doing something for themselves, that they've done everything they possibly could have and there is nothing else left for them to do but bear it until they die. But when pressed even the tiniest bit, shown an option they haven't explored, they will go to fascinating lengths to deny what is right in front of them.


For this client, it was simply showing her that she didn't show up for herself.


For someone else, it is denying that they struggle with communication.


For another person, it is refusing to engage with movement.


When the chronic underlying issue upon which the identity of chronic pain is built is threatened, there will be backlash. Because what is alive wants to live, and transformation is felt as suicide to the part of you that must die in the metamorphosis.


This is the part of healing that has to be done before you ever work with a professional. You must be willing to become someone you are not. To face the uncomfortable. To face where you have been limiting yourself.


To admit that you have been committed to living in your pain (even if it is only because you have believed for so long that there is no other option), and are now willing to be shown a new way.


In this particular instance, this woman is going back to doing the same things she has been doing for however long to make life semi-manageable. As she put it, she gives up.


And in her mind, it is because I am evil and inept.


My compassion for you does not extend to excusing your behavior.


Nor does it extend to humoring your denial.


And for some people, that will feel evil, and out of alignment, and as if I am incompetent.

That's cool with me.


Because for those who ARE willing to see the Truth in what I present to them, they walk away completely new people.


Pain Free.


Denial, Commitment to Pain, Settling for Pain Management
See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil - Kingly Behavior, Alicia Walter